"Not Me!" Monday

Several, several weeks back I stumbled upon MckMama's blog. She just had her fourth baby, Stellen, who was miraculously healed of a heart condition in utero. Anyways she does a weekly meme so I thought I would participate this week. So without delay, here is an honest portrayl of my week:

I did not wear my slippers to class on Tuesday because they were so soft inside and I was too comfortable, no that was not me. And it wasn't because I didn't have any clean socks that I wore them to class again on Wednesday. I did not justify it by saying they looked similar to loafers. No I did not, that would just be tacky.

My motivation for doing laundry this week was not because I ran out of clothes. And I do not mean by this that I ran out of the outfits that I like, but even the ones that I don't really like at all. So no I was not excited when pants I had ordered online arrived on Tuesday which meant I could hold off a couple more days before doing laundry. And no when I finally got around to doing laundry on Thursday did I not have to do 4 loads. 4 loads in not a major sign of procrastination, and no I am not a procrastinator at all that word would never describe me, never.

I was not wearing a new pair of pants while doing laundry on Thursday, because I didn't have any other clean pants to wear. I did not wear said pair of jeans to Carol's birthday on Sunday, even though I had not washed them yet. The tag did not say that they were made with a special dye and may bleed until washed. No I did not ignore that tag, because I thought they made my butt look nice. I did not sit on my hands at the party and silently freek out when I looked down at my hands and they were blue. My hands were not blue, oh no they weren't.

I did not spend Friday night in my room, watching movies and sorta studying Chinese. No that would be a pathetic way to spend a Friday night for a college student. I did not start another movie at 2, and not go to bed until 4. No I would never stay up that late when I had to be up at 9 the next morning.

I did not go to the Iron Chef competition on Saturday alone when I could not get ahold of the friend I had planned to go with. Going alone to an event is pathetic, and I did not go anyways because there was someone that I have a crush on there.

I was not a little relieved that said friend didn't show up because then I could stay home and not go clubbing. I did not go grocery shopping on Saturday night at 10 o'clock instead. That was not me at Safeway, because grocery shopping on Saturday night is so not more pathetic that watching a movie alone for two nights in a row.

I did not walk the mile to Safeway and back alone, no that is just not safe at 11 at night. I did not call my father on the way there and my mother on the way home, because I knew it was not entirely safe and figured they could call the police if they heard screaming in the background of the call.

I was not relieved when my father told me on said call that he finally severed the relationship with his ex-girlfriend. No I did not cringe everytime my father had previously mentioned getting together with her since she broke up with him in September. No I am a supportive daughter who was not thinking "I told you so," when it turned out she was a bit crazy. And no I did not invite my friends to go out for drinks when she dumped him.

And when a friend said she would be coming over in 20 minutes Saturday night, I did not get caught up in other things and no it was not an hour and a half later that I finally realized she hadn't shown up. No I did not have any guilt over this when I could not get a hold of her the next day. And no it was not almost 9 on Sunday night when I walked down to her room, to see if anyone had seen her. No thoughts of the intro scene to a CSI like show were playing through my head as I walked down. And when she was not there did I not put my ear to her door and call her to see if her phone was in her room. That is just crazy stalkerish and I am not a stalker.

I did not search every common room in the building looking for a can openner on Sunday morning, because I did not buy cans not thinking through the fact that I could not open them. My can openner is not in a basement in Bethesda, it is not still there in one of 12 boxes that I have not promised to go through but because I am lazy and don't want to waste a precious weekend day I have still not done it.

I did not combine the vegetarian beans I bought specificially so a vegetarian friend could eat my dish at a potluck, with the turkey I had browned. I did not do it because it seemed logical, because I only had two tuperware containers, forgetting that this friend was going to be there. No I did not forget about her, she's one of my best friends. That would be just mean.

I did not eat three servings of my own dish at the party because it was just that good. And I did not eat hte leftover taco casserole I brought home for dinner last night, AND I did not finish it this morning for breakfast instead of walking down to the cafeteria. I would never eat the same thing for three meals in a row. Never would that happen, as that would be just lazy, and my laziness did not cause me to pull the tupperware out of the fridge and eat it this morning cold because I was not too lazy to walk down the hall to the microwave, no that would be entirely way too lazy and I am not lazy.

I did not make a cup of tea last night to help me stay up and study, then forget about the tea when I feel asleep. I did not microwave the same cup of tea this morning and I am not drinking that cup of tea now. I did not think oh well, when it didn't have its pungent wonderful aroma.

I am not thinking of just throwing my hair into a ponytail because I wrote this in the time alotted for my shower. No I do not have reading still to do for my class at 2, and it is 12:30 now. No I would never leave reading until the last minute like that. No not me I am a perfect student.